The People of Braefoot

The popular feature, The People of Braefoot, returns to LakehillUnited.Blogspot after a hiatus earlier this year.  As you recall, we're bringing you interviews with the people you just might see lurking about our beloved Braefoot Park.

In our second installment of the series, we interview Lakehill Danger Police midfielder, and founding member of the Beer Olympics, Sean "There's More to O-Town Than Politics" Daley.

Daley, no allergies to beer reported.

Blogspot: You play for Lakehill, what specifically attracted you to the club?
Daley: I was told there was a lake on a hill and I thought to myself, "Wow, I've never seen that before, a lake on a hill, who knew?"  Then amongst this thoughtful diarrhea, I pondered, "Well, if its a lake on a hill, wouldn't the lake be falling, like a waterfall, then it would be called a waterfall, but on a hill, like waterhill?" - Ten years later and I am still baffled.

Blogspot: Interesting story.  That conundrum aside, what’s your favourite thing about Lakehill and or Braefoot? [can’t answer Al Reid]
Daley: So now there is a foot at the lake on a hill?

Editor - Daley then stares into the distance as if realizing something for the first time.  We wait patiently for a moment before he returns his attention to us.

Blogspot: What position do you play – missionary or bottom?
Daley: Former. 

Editor - We shift nervously at the emphatic nature of his response.  

Blogspot: You play for the Danger Police.  Do you have any police or private security experience [don’t talk about your privates]? 
Daley:  I once escorted Barbra Streisand on her way from a chili cook off to a smelling salts conference, does that count?  

Blogspot: Er, yes....I'm just on a co-op term, I'm not really sure if it counts.  The boss just said not to mention your privates and Al Reid in the same sentence.
Daley:  Cool.  But just to clarify I could bring up someone else's privates?

Blogspot:  I suppose, why?
Daley: It is just good to know - just in case.

Blogspot: Back to the interview.  Besides long showers, what do you do outside of soccer?
Daley: Short showers.

Editor - Again the directness of the answer baffles our interviewer as there is a long pause.  Perhaps this is a metaphor for Daley's direct style of play.

Amish Spiderman anyone?

Blogspot: We hear you’re from O-town (Ottawa).  Do you know the Queen?  

Daley: I knew her daughter pretty well...

Blogspot: Probably best for the Commonwealth if we leave that one alone. One of your most famous contributions was rocking out to Abba on Saltspring Island.  Are there any other favourite moments representing the Danger Police or related tourni teams? 

Daley: The best is yet to come my friend. I heard there is a tournament in Chicago this year...

Editor - Daley pats us on the shoulder and follows it up with a wink and the gun signal.  We are not sure what to make of this but find it strangely comforting.

Blogspot: Speaking of Chicago, we hear you used to work in Chicago at the old department store.  What happened there?
Daley:  A lady came in for a refreshment and she seemed a little parched.  A refreshment she wanted, donkey punch she got.  I don't work there anymore.

Editor - All of a sudden, we are feeling a little thirsty ourselves.  Perhaps a little of Pavlov and his dogs going on?  Nah....

Blogspot: We’ve heard that the only reason you get playing time is because you are bosom buddies with the DP coach, Neal B.  What’s it like to have him as a roommate?
Daley:  He asked me if I could keep my toenail clippings in a jar.  I was afraid to ask why, maybe for his showers?  Do guys exfoliate?

Blogspot: Uh yeah, well actually that is personal.  I was told once that if you exfoliate too much, you'll go blind.
Daley: I think you mean Masturbate? 

Blogspot: Who's conducting this interview!?  I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!!  I can shower as long as I want MOM!!!
Daley: This is getting awkward.

Blogspot: Er yes.  Ok.  Finally – do you have any wisdom or additional information to give to our readers?

Daley: Don't ever pass up the chance to ride the waterslide

Editor - Effing right!

And there you have it: installment number 2 of the People of Braefoot.  LakehillUnited.Blogspot would like to thank Danger Police team member, Sean Daley as well as wish him a Happy Birthday.  Finally, we'd like to remind everyone that the Beer Olympics are back on September 22nd.

Stay tuned for more interviews in the coming months.

NEW FEATURE! The People of Braefoot

In yet another brand new feature here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot, we're bringing you interviews with the people you just might see lurking about our beloved Braefoot Park.

In our first of the series, we interview Lakehill Danger Police goalie, and all around ginger-haired tough guy, Andrew "Carpet Matches the Drapes" Whidden.

What is Prince Edward Islander for Goalie?

Blogspot: You play for Lakehill, what specifically attracted you to the club?  Was it because they wear red and you are a ginger?
Whidden: The colors were very complimentary, but mainly it was so I felt taller with having T-Roy and Vinnie on the team in Div 3.
Blogspot: What position do you play – missionary or bottom?
Whidden: I'm a keeper... so whatever position I have to do the least work in. (Editor - that would be the bottom)
Blogspot: You play for the Danger Police.  Do you have any police or private security experience [don’t talk about your privates]? 
Editor - Whidden mentions his privates, we rewind the tape and ask again.
Whidden:  I once guarded two droids through the solar system, on a fact finding mission to find my sister and father, and to save the Empire........ sorry, I'm watching Star Wars......... so, no.
Blogspot: What’s your favourite thing about Lakehill and or Braefoot? [can’t answer Al Reid]
Editor - Whidden mentions Al Reid's privates this time.  We'd like more but already feel like we are on a tangent and ask the question again.
Whidden: My favorite thing about Braefoot is the turf. And it's a great place to watch Brian Nash injure himself on a regular basis.
Blogspot: Besides long showers, what do you do outside of soccer?
Whidden: I grow grass for a living.... the turf type. I'm a Groundskeeper for a billionare in the Uplands, and manage the 3 acre property.
Editor - We ask Whidden if he knows anyone who can get the other type for us but he goes back to talking about his privates.

 

Spot the ginger - Whidden is a natural red

Blogspot: We hear you’re from the East Coast.  Do you know the Trailer Park Boys?  We love those guys...

Whidden: I went to college with Corey and Trevor, but I know cats and dogs smarter than Corey and Trevor. And Julien's parents own a pizza joint in my hometown.

Blogspot: Remember that time Randy ate all those cheeseburgers?  That was pretty funny…

Whidden: Oh ya.... at the Cheeseburger picnic.... those fucking dirty burgers.
Blogspot: On the field, you’ve described your idol as a cross between Mike Peters and an athlete – do you have any other idols?

Whidden: A couple of American Idols..... but this guy named Doc we play with.... he may be old, but he's pretty cool.

Editor - Not really, Rimek is cooler.
Blogspot: We hear you used to work in Chicago at the old department store.  What did you sell and why did you get fired?

Whidden: A woman came in for a ruler, a ruler from the store. A ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got, and I don't work there anymore.

Editor - Now he's back on his privates, we don't have the heart to tell him that we use metric...
Blogspot: Finally – do you have any wisdom or additional information to give to our readers?

Whidden: Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired. Actually, I stole that from Al Reid during a U-21 game. He rocks.

Editor - He does?

And there you have it: installment number 1 of the People of Braefoot.  Stay tuned for more interviews in the coming months.