In our second installment of the series, we interview Lakehill Danger Police midfielder, and founding member of the Beer Olympics, Sean "There's More to O-Town Than Politics" Daley.
Daley, no allergies to beer reported.
Blogspot: You play for Lakehill, what specifically attracted you to the club?
Daley: I was told there was a lake on a hill and I thought to myself, "Wow, I've never seen that before, a lake on a hill, who knew?" Then amongst this thoughtful diarrhea, I pondered, "Well, if its a lake on a hill, wouldn't the lake be falling, like a waterfall, then it would be called a waterfall, but on a hill, like waterhill?" - Ten years later and I am still baffled.
Blogspot: Interesting story. That conundrum aside, what’s your favourite thing about Lakehill and or Braefoot? [can’t answer Al Reid]
Daley: So now there is a foot at the lake on a hill?
Editor - Daley then stares into the distance as if realizing something for the first time. We wait patiently for a moment before he returns his attention to us.
Blogspot: What position do you play – missionary or bottom?
Daley: Former.
Editor - We shift nervously at the emphatic nature of his response.
Blogspot: You play for the Danger Police. Do you have any police or private security experience [don’t talk about your privates]?
Daley: I once escorted Barbra Streisand on her way from a chili cook off to a smelling salts conference, does that count?
Blogspot: Er, yes....I'm just on a co-op term, I'm not really sure if it counts. The boss just said not to mention your privates and Al Reid in the same sentence.
Daley: Cool. But just to clarify I could bring up someone else's privates?
Blogspot: I suppose, why?
Daley: It is just good to know - just in case.
Blogspot: Back to the interview. Besides long showers, what do you do outside of soccer?
Daley: Short showers.
Editor - Again the directness of the answer baffles our interviewer as there is a long pause. Perhaps this is a metaphor for Daley's direct style of play.
Amish Spiderman anyone?
Daley: I knew her daughter pretty well...
Blogspot: Probably best for the Commonwealth if we leave that one alone. One of your most famous contributions was rocking out to Abba on Saltspring Island. Are there any other favourite moments representing the Danger Police or related tourni teams?
Blogspot: Probably best for the Commonwealth if we leave that one alone. One of your most famous contributions was rocking out to Abba on Saltspring Island. Are there any other favourite moments representing the Danger Police or related tourni teams?
Daley: The best is yet to come my friend. I heard there is a tournament in Chicago this year...
Editor - Daley pats us on the shoulder and follows it up with a wink and the gun signal. We are not sure what to make of this but find it strangely comforting.
Blogspot: Speaking of Chicago, we hear you used to work in Chicago at the old department store. What happened there?
Daley: A lady came in for a refreshment and she seemed a little parched. A refreshment she wanted, donkey punch she got. I don't work there anymore.
Editor - All of a sudden, we are feeling a little thirsty ourselves. Perhaps a little of Pavlov and his dogs going on? Nah....
Blogspot: We’ve heard that the only reason you get playing time is because you are bosom buddies with the DP coach, Neal B. What’s it like to have him as a roommate?
Daley: He asked me if I could keep my toenail clippings in a jar. I was afraid to ask why, maybe for his showers? Do guys exfoliate?
Blogspot: Uh yeah, well actually that is personal. I was told once that if you exfoliate too much, you'll go blind.
Daley: I think you mean Masturbate?
Blogspot: Who's conducting this interview!? I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!! I can shower as long as I want MOM!!!
Daley: This is getting awkward.
Editor - Daley pats us on the shoulder and follows it up with a wink and the gun signal. We are not sure what to make of this but find it strangely comforting.
Blogspot: Speaking of Chicago, we hear you used to work in Chicago at the old department store. What happened there?
Daley: A lady came in for a refreshment and she seemed a little parched. A refreshment she wanted, donkey punch she got. I don't work there anymore.
Editor - All of a sudden, we are feeling a little thirsty ourselves. Perhaps a little of Pavlov and his dogs going on? Nah....
Blogspot: We’ve heard that the only reason you get playing time is because you are bosom buddies with the DP coach, Neal B. What’s it like to have him as a roommate?
Daley: He asked me if I could keep my toenail clippings in a jar. I was afraid to ask why, maybe for his showers? Do guys exfoliate?
Blogspot: Uh yeah, well actually that is personal. I was told once that if you exfoliate too much, you'll go blind.
Daley: I think you mean Masturbate?
Blogspot: Who's conducting this interview!? I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!! I can shower as long as I want MOM!!!
Daley: This is getting awkward.
Blogspot: Er yes. Ok. Finally – do you have any wisdom or additional information to give to our readers?
Daley: Don't ever pass up the chance to ride the waterslide
Editor - Effing right!
And there you have it: installment number 2 of the People of Braefoot. LakehillUnited.Blogspot would like to thank Danger Police team member, Sean Daley as well as wish him a Happy Birthday. Finally, we'd like to remind everyone that the Beer Olympics are back on September 22nd.
Stay tuned for more interviews in the coming months.
Stay tuned for more interviews in the coming months.
