SLIGHTLY BREAKING - United Legend Bryan Butcher Transfers to O-35's!

SLIGHTLY BREAKING - We received this official press release from the press office of Lakehill United last week and have just gotten off the pot to post it.

"Good afternoon lakehillunited.blogspot, on top of a season high two game winning streak I am proud to announce on behalf of Lakehill United that we have finally released Bryan Butcher off of our roster. This is a momentous day in the eyes of United as we strive to repeat as third best at being first for the second consecutive year.

We firmly believe that although Bryan is a great person and half decent friend, this is still the right move as a club. Recently we used Bryan in a sweeper position to fill in the loss of Ben Stanchfield, who we let go earlier in the year in order to cut down on bow leggedness among our team. Unfortunately for Bryan, we subbed in Ian Broome (who has never played defense before), and then 4’8” Jer to sweep in his place, and soon came to a realization as a club….holy shit, anybody can do this.

With that new found realization it soon became apparent the Bryan’s role would be diminished opening him up for the trading market. With no one returning my calls within the league, we were left with no option but to release Bryan to play over 35’s and in the words of Tupac Shakur “crack open them champagne glasses and some mother fucking condoms, have one on us!”

File picture used

All the best to Bryan Butcher who completed his first 90 last night in the centre mid position and was quoted as saying: "I haven't felt this young since I broke into Mr. Tubbs and had a voyage of self discovery in their ball room."

Goals = Victory at Layritz: Secrets of First Win Revealed!

Visceral emotion took over at Layritz on Saturday as United registered their first in of the season against a newly promoted Prospect Lake squad.

Known as the "Landlocked Water" Derby (see what we did there), the battles between Prospect Lake and Lakehill have been nothing short of legendary down the years.  And as early season form is still taking shape, it looked like these two squads near the bottom of the division were in for a true 6 pointer.

Mega Post is Here! Match Reports, Music, Babies, and More...

You know what's down these days?  The economy.

And when the economy is down, cutbacks need to be made.  At least that is what the Canadian Bank of Canada tells us.  Or is it spend more?  No....no, that is what the American Bank of America says to do (hey, check out my new jet-ski).

Now where was I?  Ah yes, cutbacks.

We here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot have had to make cutbacks just like the average Canadian household (but we've still got Netflix - JACKPOT).  We've tightened the proverbial belt.

Season and Home Opener Tonight at the Foot! Be there, or be Butcher.

Welcome to the 2013-14 Season of the most exciting football division the Island of Vancouver has ever seen.

United, off the back of solid preseason, look to defend their third place in a finishing first contest trophy tonight at their beloved Foot against a Gorge squad which just scraped through the division last year.

This will be a good first game test for United as the Zebras of Hampton can be a tricky opponent.

See you there!

In an exclusive interview with United's new coach, the Chancellor had this to say about this first game:

"We expect the tempo to be a bit slower for these early games since match fitness doesn't usually reach 100% until a few games in" he said speaking to LakehillUnited.Blogspot.  "I also like money, bagels and Bastian Sweinsteger" he continued.

We here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot will be covering the game tonight and we expect to see our 7 readers out in full attendance.

Match details:
Gorge versus Lakehill United
Braefoot Park
8:00pm

Also check us out on Twitter for tweets tonight - @lakehillutd

What's Going on There??!! Inside the Player's Minds - Scott Rimek (with help from Troy Taillefer)

In the continuing series here on LakehillUnited.Blogspot, we endeavor to bring you inside the minds of some of our United players this year.

Either through picture, video, or spoken word, we'll gather the intel on your favourite United players (and perhaps staff) and present it to you - right here on LakehillUnited.Blogspot.

This preseason submission comes from seasoned United veteran Troy Taillefer who sent both LakehillUnited.Blogspot and Scottie "Teaching His Daughter to Pottie" Rimek the following video set.  Once viewed, it was Rimek's immediate response to "post these to the site."

Seeing as we can't say no when Scottie gets going, here are the said submissions.

WARNING - THESE VIDEOS ARE NOT FOR RACOON LOVERS

Watch this one first:

And now the wrestling version (sound on). Sorry - link wouldn't embed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPVfx6qNJUo

And We're Back!

Excitement has been building over the last 4 months in anticipation of the new VISL season.  United, fresh from placing third in a coming first competition, are set to take to the field tonight in the first evening of preseason.

There have been big changes in the offseason!  The biggest of all is the retirement of Coaches Butcher, Holla, and Benny Stanch (formerly of Benny and the Bretts).  The question on everyone's minds was, "who would take the emotional hot seat of the coaching job at United?" (hint - it isn't David Moyes)

Step forward the Chancellor, who is going by the moniker of "Coach K" in official communications (no relation to George... we think).  We're excited to announce here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot that we'll have an exclusive first interview in the coming weeks.

We're also excited to reveal that we will continue bring to you this fine example of journalistic excellence... so stay tuned!

From us to you, 

PS - don't forget to give us a follow on Twitter - @lakehillutd

Puking in Comox not the only Highlight of Eventful First Game Back

United maintained their position at the top of the VISL second division with a hard fought draw in Powell River on Sunday as they return to action in the 2012-13 season.

UPDATE: The Reds beat the blazers 3-0 last night to move ahead of United at the top of the table.  Both teams look good for a Lakehill 1-2 with just two rounds remaining.

Happy New Year and Times Colonist Article!

Welcome back to the VISL 2012-13 Season in Division 2.  United have just three league games remaining in what has proven so far to be a very successful term.

United are currently in first place on 24 points with the Lakehill Reds right behind on 23 points.  Both teams have some tricky fixtures as they both have yet to play in Powell River against a Villa side scrapping for points in what is shaping up to be a relegation battle for the Sunshine Coast team.

United also have a bye followed bye Vic West at home and Cowichan away while the Reds also have a bye weekend and games against the Blazers at home and Gorge at home.

The feats of United and the Reds have not gone unnoticed this year as the Times Colonist featured the following article on December 23rd.

United and Reds getting noticed - click picture for larger version

United return to the pitch on January 20th in Powell River as they continue their quest to top the division.