Mega Post is Here! Match Reports, Music, Babies, and More...

You know what's down these days?  The economy.

And when the economy is down, cutbacks need to be made.  At least that is what the Canadian Bank of Canada tells us.  Or is it spend more?  No....no, that is what the American Bank of America says to do (hey, check out my new jet-ski).

Now where was I?  Ah yes, cutbacks.

We here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot have had to make cutbacks just like the average Canadian household (but we've still got Netflix - JACKPOT).  We've tightened the proverbial belt.


"What's left?" I hear you asking.

"Well we'll tell you," said, erm...us.

Sometimes this year, we are going to have to sandwich 2 game reports into one post.  Sometimes, we're going to have to bring you multiple major announcements in a single post.  Sometimes, we just might put a random video in the middle of the artic

le.

This is that post.

Let's kick it off with three, yes three, amazing announcements!

The Lakehill United 2033 squad is looking good with three new additions over the past few months.  Firstly, United talisman and casual goalscorer, Chris "Mathlete" Woodcock and his wife, Kim, became parents on June 7th when they welcomed young Michael into the world.  The first-time parents (if you don't count babysitting a certain J. Lenton after Powell River trips) were reportedly ecstatic with their new baby boy.  A belated congratulations to Chris and Kim!

And what did you expect

Speaking of excitement, Coach K (no relation to George K), and his wife Brianna welcomed Avery Grace into the world over this past weekend.  Young Avery is doing well and both Mom and Dad are reportedly "in awe" of the youngling.  Congratulations Coach K!  While you were gone, we lost.

Speaking of losers  Former United strongman and elite shot buyer, Sam "I have a soft side too" Yager and his beautiful wife Sarah, welcomed their first child into the mix on August 30th.  Baby Jack joins a long line of proud, and sometimes foolhardy, Yagers and we here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot look forward to teaching him the ins and outs of "Coaster Toss" in just under 19 years.  Congratulations to Sam and Sarah!

Right....got all that?

No?  Us neither.  But we're going to plow on in the interest of journalistic integrity and also, that rye isn't going to drink itself.

A bit of bad news now as we received word that United front man Bibo "Beebs" Bissenden suffered a fracture of the leg bone and a tear in the ACL thing during a preseason game (where is Dr. Poulis when we need him?).  Unfortunate news for the big man who's is just shy of his 50th Birthday and by all accounts, was in fine form in preseason.  Apparently the other guy came out of the tackle quite "Euro" and wearing skinny jeans.  I'd say we all know who got the worst of it.  All the best and a speedy recovery Beebs.

Welcome to retirement Bibo, why don't we drink rye together?

Now, a couple of matches to report as United opened their season with mixed results over the past couple of weeks.  In the season opener, United took on a familiar foe in Gorge.  The match ebbed and flowed in a familiar pattern and ultimately finished in a familiar result, a draw.  We could write more about the game but in the end, our hand is beginning to cramp up and we have to take a dump.

Last weekend, United took on division 2 newcomers Comox and much like the United sister team, Dukes FC, were unable to beat Comox.  It is unclear whether the beer garden was a factor.

And still we bring you yet more good news.  Saturday, September 7th marked not one, but two amazing weddings!

"Holy Crap" we hear you saying, "how does LakehillUnited.Blogspot do it?"

"Perquisites and bath salts."

United stalwart and serial snooper (that is someone who Snapchats themselves pooping), Ian "Boomer" Broome married his long time love, Miss Jenny.  It is clear that she has her work cut out for her with Boomer but she has started off well as we have noticed a dramatic decrease in Snapchats here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot.  Congratulations to Ian and Jenny!

Stock photo provided by Mr. Brian Mitchell (he's single ladies)

Also tying the knot on September 7th, was long time bachelor and United associate Neal B.  Neal, the coach of both Lakehill Danger Police and Dirty Sanchez, married his girlfriend Tiffany and proceeded to rock out in what can only be described as "one heck of a party."  Congratulations to Neal and Tiffany!

Finally, we almost forgot another birth.  Congratulations to United alumnus Graeme and Trevor Mann (and mom Yvonne) who welcomed baby Jackson Trevor into the world on September 9th.  Graeme, Yvonne, Jackson, and Trevor all look healthy and happy based on our Facebook creeping.

And that is it...that is all we got.  We blew our load.  If you've read this far, we probably should reward you with something...anything really.  So here is a bonus, Inside the Player's Minds from former United hitman Brian Nash.  Don't say we didn't warn you.  Goodbye.