Goals = Victory at Layritz: Secrets of First Win Revealed!

Visceral emotion took over at Layritz on Saturday as United registered their first in of the season against a newly promoted Prospect Lake squad.

Known as the "Landlocked Water" Derby (see what we did there), the battles between Prospect Lake and Lakehill have been nothing short of legendary down the years.  And as early season form is still taking shape, it looked like these two squads near the bottom of the division were in for a true 6 pointer.


United, were not only looking for their first win of the season, but also their first goal.  They didn't wait long as New Tim got free on the right side of the 18 and planted one past the Lakers' goalie.  "One-nil to the Lakehill" screamed the assembled crowd of newly born babies, newly-weds, Holla, and Mike Medeiros.

The goal spurned on United and a second wasn't far behind as Chris "Mathlete" Woodcock broke and saw his well-placed shot nestle gently in the bottom corner after hitting the inside of the post.  It was a morale-sapping goal and Lakehill were looking full value for the money, but it was only 25 minutes in and 90 minute games have sometimes been United's achilles heel.

Bryan "B-Boy" Butcher was enjoying a fine game at sweeper alongside Bones (not of Bones, Thugs, and Harmony).  In fact Lakehill this season has had one of the stingiest defenses in the league.  It came as a surprise then, when Prospect Lake scored off a scrambled corner to reel United to within one.

The game started to get heated with some wayward fouls from the PL back line which resulted with the traditional "Let's get more soccery fellas" from Holla on the sideline.  The call confused and disoriented many of the slower Laker midfielders and they conceded too much ground to a rampant United in the middle of the park, leading to yet another Lakehill goal.  New Tim got his brace and restored the 2 goal cushion just before the half.

We had to Google "Tim" to get this stock picture of New Tim

Surely when it rains it pours (apparently the United left back got rained on quite a bit) and one goal lead to three as United headed into halftime with the lead.

A couple of changes rang in the second half as scorer Woodcock took a break along with United veteran Butcher.  Benny "formerly with Benny and the Bretts" Stanchfield got to see some action.  The half was cagey and United couldn't quite find the final ball to really put Prospect Lake to the sword.

Vinnie "the" Poldrugroalkha;hgmbmvac [sic] enjoyed a good battle on the right side and was able to earn his team some free kicks in dangerous positions and allow some United vets the chance to catch their breath.  Speaking of free kicks, Stanchfield himself had an excellent set piece denied only by his own cleverness and a bit of not kicking the ball very hard.

Peters, Medeiros, and Vinko celebrate the third goal.

Prospect Lake did manage to get one more consolation goal but it came too little too late for a comeback and United held on for their first 3 points of the season.

We'd like to give a special shout out to Scottie "too hottie for the party" Rimek and Bibo Bissenden for running the bench while Coach K was at a wedding.

Be sure to pop by the Foot tonight at 8pm as two heavyweights of the second division square off in a classic battle between United and the Blazers of Gordon's Head.

See you there!