United started the game well after warming up in hurricane like conditions. By the time of kickoff though, the rain had abated and the sun was shining. The wind was still strong but was at United's back which likely helped the less then 100% fitness of the starting eleven.
With just over five minutes on the clock, United struck their first of the day and who else scored but United's leading striker, Chris "I Fart to Make You Smell Better" Woodcock. It was his fourth in two games as he cut across the top of the box and fired hard and low into the bottom corner.
Woodie - Still got it. Trev is impressed...
It looked like the rout was on but the good early work from United stalled as the half wore on. Bays were content hitting long balls into the United box against the strong head wind. United were comfortable in defence with Mani "Another Year Older" Bains dropping back from midfield and winning headers constantly. Ryan "I Keep a Pop-Up in the Trunk" Braun was calm and steady at the back and had an excellent game.
Another United stand out at the back was the evergreen Dr. Brett "Doogie Howser is My Beotch" Poulis. He made a number of critical blocks and tackles despite not knowing how to throw a ball in...hands of surgeon there, Doctor.
Despite Lakehill looking the stronger team, Bays did fashion a solid chance in the first half as one of their midfielders got behind the United defence to go one on one with Mike "We Have a Banana in Goal" Peters. The Bays player beat Peters but not the post and United scrambled the ball clear. United finished the half 1 goal to the good.
The second half proved a bit more difficult for United as they adjusted to the high balls being carried into them in the wind.
Despite that, United scored their second at the 60 minute mark. A short free kick was drilled low and hard across the 6 yard box and United debutante, Andy "Crap, I'm Playing Soccer" Sails looked decidedly confused as to what to do with the freebie. Sails did manage to keep the ball in play where it bounced around a bit before Woodcock smashed it home. That's five in two games for the United marksmen as he leads the league in goals.
In the closing minutes, Bays managed a consolation but the scoreline flattered them a bit. United closed down the game and saw first appearances today from Trevor "I Ate the Bowflex" Mann, Kielan "Noonan" Hrasky, Graeme "If You Ain't First, You're Last" Mann, and Sails.
United now have six points from their first two games and look forward to playing Gordon Head this Friday in another road game.
Man of the Match - Mani Bains had a great game.
Holle-Nash Award - Nash was hungover and forgot to bring one - therefore two this week.
Moan of the Match - Too much rain in warm-up.
No comments:
Post a Comment