The night was a dark one and not enhanced in any way by the dim mood-lighting in Gordon Head. United though, had a secret weapon up their sleeve in the form of BBQ-sauce guzzling, neon shirt wearing, metro-sexual Nash; who joined United on the bench and lit up the proceedings while proceeding to get lit up.
This...but in neon....
Overall, United were comfortable in the opening exchanges with Mike “My Shirt Pales in Comparison to Nash’s” Peters making some confident catches. Even better were his kicks as he smashed the ball consistently 70+ yards, much to the confusion of the United front men.
As Peters found form, so too did Sam “Neon Isn’t a Colour Nash” Yager and Ian “Glowing Isn’t a Colour Nash” Broome as their work in the centre of the park broke up the Blazer’s offence. Jer “I May Be a Star, But I’m Not as Bright as Nash” Roberg found some joy also in his forays up the field to join in the attack; with one fine shot drifting just wide of the goal.
The middle of the half could be called cagey, as turnovers from United lead to unneeded pressure on their backline. But just as these turnovers looked to be the death of them, United managed a goal, which changed the dynamic of the game permanently. Front man Tim “Highlighter Might be a Colour Nash” Yager earned a penalty through some hard work and positive running. In fact Yager had a terrific game throughout with much of the United attack being channeled through him.
Jeff “Why is Everyone Talking About Nash” Lenton stepped up and firmly struck the PK past the Blazer keeper to score United’s first of the season. The goal had a calming effect on United as they saw out the half quite comfortably.
Awww, you got to love Facebook
There were plenty of positives from the first half and United knew that if they could reduce the turnovers, the 3 points were there to be had.
The second half saw the introduction of Bibo “More Bright Yellow Ferrari Than Bright Yellow Punch-Buggy” Bissendon and Dillon “Don’t Call Me Yellow or I’ll Stab You” Walker; the former taking some time to settle after having to defend some mazy runs while wearing Holla’s shorts. Editor – please clean the poop stains before returning to Holla. Speaking of poop, Walker himself had to be withdrawn quite quickly in order to participate with Rimek in a game of “Where’s my Poo??!!!???” We here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot hope you are feeling better.
But enough of the potty talk.
United, with the deeper bench, were the stronger side in the second half and despite a couple gilt-edged chances for the Blazers, got their second midway through the half via some hard work by Chris “Insert Nash Joke Here” Woodcock. The Cockle was able to draw the Blazers to him with a fine run before squaring the ball to a marauding Matt “Who’s Nash” Konig. Konig still had it all to do as so many times, chances like this are screwed past the post. He did well to keep the ball low and fired it neatly past the GH keeper.
At 2-nil up, the game was effectively over as United saw out the remaining Blazer threat to get their first win of the new season and go joint top of the table.
This week, United face the Reds of Lakehill in the first derby match of the season at the Foot on Friday night.
Man of the Match: Lenton Nash
Holle-Nash Award: Jer Nash
Moan of the Match: Ball to the Nads Nash
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