Twas The Night Before Season

Twas the night before season, when all through the Foot
Not a player was boozing, not even a Butch;
The jerseys were hung, in the change room with care,
In front of the mirror, Al Reid worked on his stare;

My hand was all nestled below the waistband,
In hopes of some me time while watching Roseanne;
And Benny and Jer at Beerfest to tap,
By game time tomorrow all set for a nap;

When out on my lawn there arose such a clatter,
A beer drinking Bibo looking absolutely shattered;
"Hey Holla I'm here, to drink rye with you"
"Sorry big man, I'm resting, you should too";

The moon in the sky shone like a steel drum,
Reminded me of Sam and the game of Who's Bum;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a half-naked Rimek, having sex with a deer;

"On Dancers, on Vixens, on couches I've been,
And none quite as arousing as you my antler'd queen;
To finish this off I've got quite an act,
Shapes and Movements! Cheeseburger Picnic! Check your sources, its a Fact!

Erm...Old fashioned Christmas?

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
Tim Yager, Medeiros, and Koenig the goof;
"Hey what the f$%* are you doing on my dwelling?"
"Kones hurt his weiner, you got something for the swelling?"

I sorted them out with a bit of good cheer,
Then back in my house for some pretzels and beer;
As surely as sh** a party begun,
The fellas above, were joined by Lenton;

With music and dancing Doc Poulis appeared,
followed shortly by Boomer, and Key with a beard;
The Cockle and Bones, and new guys came after,
Dillon the call-up and Peters arrived to some laughter;

When promptly at midnight a hush on the crowd,
All stemmed from a baseline outside quite loud;
We spilled from the house to check on the racket,
To find someone outside in a big puffy jacket;

Who could it be on new season's eve,
Who could it be, what's up their sleeve;
"IT'S SUPER SUB NASH" oh what a ham,
Giving gifts of hard candy, long hugs, and Pearl Jam;

The stage was set, the morning grew near,
New season's eve was over, fueled by Rockstar and beer;
The fellas all home went for a rest,
At Hampton at 6, we start on our quest.