Top Ten - Nash's Next Car: Number 5!

As a continuation of one of our popular features, we're bringing you the next car in the series Top Ten - Nash's Next Car!

To summarize, we've heard that Lakehill United and all around funny guy, Brian Nash, is in the market for a new car.  We thought it would be fun to help him decide what to purchase right here on LakehillUnited.Blogspot over the next few weeks.

So far, we've featured cars 10 through 6 in our quest to find the ultimate vehicle for Nash.  Today we enter the top 5...

Nash's Next Car #5 - The Chevy Cavalier/Pontiac Sunfire

This one is a crowd favourite in the Westshore communities.  We all know the demographic...Ed Hardy steering wheel cover, Looney Tunes seat covers, fuzzy dice, sweatpants or maternity wear the chosen attire, and a lead foot worse than Mario Andretti.  

What is it about Cavfire drivers that makes them want to drag race every other car on the road?  Their top speed has got to be no higher then 100 km/h.  

Cavfire drivers picture themselves in this...

Got a tailgater?  Chances are it's an overweight thirty-something gal texting while trying to drink a Timmy Ho's and adjust her crotch in her vintage Zubaz pants at the wheel of a Cavalier...

This is what they actually are racing you in...

Having a Cavfire would allow Nash to adjust his image, while still playing to his aggressive tendencies.  And for that awesome image alone, the Cavfire is #5!

Nash...or is it Joe Dirt?

Stay tuned for Nash's next car #4 and many other features right here on LakehillUnited.Blogspot!

United Sing the Blues After Dropping Points at Tyndall! PLUS: The Squeegee Bandit!

Lakehill United dropped their first points of the season after a road draw with Gordon Head Blues at Tyndall Friday night.

United, who were without coaches Holla and Butch - as well as several of their first team, went to Tyndall in search of their third successive win in the VISL Division 2.  Unfortunately a 1-1 draw was all they could muster, while still maintaining their unbeaten start to the season.

The match started at a frenetic pace as Gordon Head pressed United all over the park.  The Blues were without any points thus far, and had six call-ups for the match.  And it looked like the youthful exuberance of the call-ups caused United difficulties.

United did attempt to play the ball on the turf however the pressing game of the Blues halted any type of tempo from being established.  United center mids Jeff "Pizzaz" Lenton and Mani "Not Actually Currency" Bains were kept busy as every ounce of fitness was squeezed out of them by the fit Blues call-ups.

Mid-way through the first half, some United personnel were duped into believing that Coach Holla was present at the field after some excellent trash talking from a nearby bush.  The truth of those calls may never be revealed.

United got their goal through Bains as he shot hard from an acute angle to punish Gordon Head for some sloppy defending.

Bains....Mani Bains - License to Score

It wasn't to be United's evening though as the Blues equalized.  

Late on, Bibo "Gay Apple Junior" Bissendon had an excellent chance to score the winner when the Blues' keeper gifted him the ball about 20 yards out.  Bibo unfortunately could not take the chance with the open net staring him down and in the end, a tie seemed a fair result.

In other scores, Blazers were beat 4-1 by Gorge keeping the top of the league within touching distance.

Next week, there is another visit to Tyndall as United take on Gordon Head Blazers.

Man of the Match: Ryan Braun

Holle- Nash Award: Dillon received the Colt 45 while Kones transformed into the Squeegee Bandit!

Moan of the Match: No Holla

The Squeegee Bandit!

And finally one last item to round out your weekend....YARGH!!!! - Sound up, 12th second...

Reference here:  Holla mentioned on Arseblog [Bottom]

Spotted: Billy Mays Alive & Well: Teaching at Local Middle School!

LakehillUnited.Blogspot can exclusively reveal that Billy Mays, of Oxi Clean infomercial fame, is alive and well and teaching middle school under the alias “B. Stanchfield.”

Proof – I think we can all conclude the “B” Stands for Billy!

In never before seen photos, Mays can clearly be seen on the staff photo compilation of Royal Oak Middle School in Victoria, British Columbia.  What is unclear is why Mays went into hiding in the first place.  Even more unusual is his choice to keep his signature, Randy Savage sculpted, man-beard.

Passion – Billy probably shouldn’t be teaching kids…

Mays fans will always remember Billy for his passionate way of pushing such As Seen On TV products as:

Oxi Clean

Mighty Mend-It

Mighty Putty

Big City Sliders

Awesome Auger

Handy Switch

Heeltastic

Tool Bandit

Jupiter Jack

Steam Buddy

What Odor

and Hercules Hooks

 

Billy Stanchfield, we here at LakehillUnited.Blogspot salute you.  Now show us your “Hercules Hook!”